At moments you met the right one but you chose to be the wrong one...
I was going through life in the manner in which I knew. I was striving to become my best. I came from nothing in life and felt a burden on me to accomplish everything I set out to achieve. I didn’t want to have children born into the environment in which i grew up. Never having a blueprint to follow, therefore, I became the blueprint.
Filled with much ambition as my journey had already started and the next thing I knew someone hit me with a brick. I began to stumble but I continued on my way. I could see my destination straight ahead and there it was another brick and I fail to my knees not understanding what was going on.
I crawled until I was able to stand again. Once back on my feet I started to wonder why bricks were being thrown at me? I knew for sure I wasn’t doing anything to cause this type of experience. I regained my focus to continue on my journey. Before I knew it, I was extremely close to my destination. I saw it and excitement rushed through every fiber of my being.
With my adrenaline pumping I picked up the pace and moved like I had never moved in my life. Everything I dreamed and prayed for was within my grasp and out of nowhere, I got hit with multiple bricks all at once. I immediately fail to the floor. Head bloodied, arms and legs broken. My vision became blurred in that moment from the brick that hit me square in the face.
While on the ground I knew I couldn’t take any more bricks. The bruises and the pain were so bad that I knew I was finished. I closed my eyes and thought of every brick thrown at me. Can I tell you a bout these bricks? Thank you.
These are the bricks that were hitting me.
Brick of: doubt, fear, my past, my mistakes, my relationship, my marriage, my business, my teacher, my peer’s, people saying I’m ugly, I’m too fat, I’m too dark, I’m too skinny, I don’t have the proper education, low self-esteem, rejection, failure, no support, depression, anxiety, it's too late, incarceration, molestation, anger, rape etc.
Yep, simply put THE BRICK OF LIFE hit me and it hit me hard. While lying on the ground I went through every brick and each emotion that was tied to it. I cried and asked God to take me. I felt alone and that nobody understood. Why was I hit with life this way? I did not ask to be here. Every time I try, I seem to get knock right back down. So I asked, what’s the purpose?
Then THE BRICK OF PURPOSE hit me. Everything became so clear. The bricks that were thrown were giving me the foundation I needed to stand on. With each brick I stepped higher than before. I began to realize the bricks weren’t thrown to break me but to build me. What I had to do was change my perspective. In order for me to change my perspective I had to change my mind and when I changed my mind I became a completely different person.
Therefore, I picked myself up off the ground. I was still bleeding and bruised but I had a new determination. My environment didn’t change but I changed while in the same environment. People were still talking about me but I grabbed that brick and placed it under my feet. Doubt and my past threw brick after brick and I placed them under my feet as well. What once use to hurt me became the tools that helped me.
P.S. Take this story as a lesson to NEVER GIVE UP! Don’t live to feel sorry for yourself or blame people for what you can't accomplish your goals and dreams. Allow adversity to become your opportunity that betters your life. The most extraordinary people had some suffer an Extra-Ordinary process. Change your mind for the better and you will change your life for the better. Allow those bricks to become your foundation!
When I woke up this morning it didn’t feel like a typical morning. I felt weird but I just shook it off and continued to proceed. I got dressed to head out like any other day but in the back of my mind there was a question that said “do you care if you lived or die?” I brushed that off as well and called a friend of mine to blow some steam.
He laughed and joked and told me everything was going to be alright. Still feeling empty looking for answers, I called another friend but she didn’t pick up. A few minutes later she texted me and said what’s up? I replied, hey I need you. She said, “Brandon you always say you need me that’s nothing knew" as she sends an “LOL” to follow that response. I never replied.
See, I had been facing so many challenges and truly needed someone to talk to. I was holding in this pain for months and needed a release. Life was beating me up to the point that I felt I was bleeding tears but I was trying to press my way through. In private I was a complete failure. Nothing I tried seemed to work. It was as if I was living under a curse that would never leave. I’ve always had big dreams and was working my plan but nothing of what I expected came of them.
I also realized nobody noticed what I was dealing with. I was pleading for help but everyone was so comfortable around me that everything appeared normal. But nothing was normal. In fact, I was living in so much torment privately that there was only one solution left. I decided to take my life. I contemplated long and hard but nothing in my present gave me a reason to live. My life was so dark that I just wanted to close my eyes forever and that’s what I did.
After I took my last breath something happened. It was as if I were floating through air while everything started to move fast into my future. Two hours after I committed suicide, I got the phone call I’ve been waiting for, for nearly a month. I landed a multimillion dollar book publishing deal. A few months after, I was asked to do a documentary chronicling my life and how I was able to break the curse and achieve the unexpected within my bloodline.
Shortly thereafter, I finally became a business and a brand. I was speaking all over the globe. I eventually got married to an amazing woman and we had three equally gorgeous children. My family and I helped so many people yearly and inspired millions. All the pain I experienced could not be compared to the abundant life I’m now living. I mean I have the best life ever. But wait, everything is starting to fade to black. Wait, I’m not ready to die, wait I’m sorry, please I WANT TO LIVE!!! Remember that question in the back of my mind that said “Do you care if you live or die?” Well I care but now it’s too late…
P.S. DON’T GIVE UP!!! Please, we must pay attention to those that are in our everyday lives. So many are screaming for help but we overlook the signs. This message is for those that feel like there’s no hope. Please understand that YOUR LIFE MATTERS! When you take your life you stop your promising future and you hurt those that are connected to you while stopping the future of some that were to live because you live.
If you are a person that needs help please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1 (800) 273-8255
I noticed her a few days ago and I said to myself who is this beauty? I began to question do I even have the right to approach her? It was something about this lady that stood out. Wait, maybe it was the ring but I’m puzzled because I can’t shake her. I mean she has a glow that brought light to my darkness. What is it I asked?
Weeks went pass and I finally told myself I don’t care if I’m right or wrong I must speak to her. Trying to muster up the words to say and yet I’m speechless. I’ve never been this nervous in my life. Listen, I have nothing to lose at this point. Excuse me Ma, can I grab your attention as she walked by paying me no attention.
My pride was crushed and I began to question me as a man. Am I that ugly that she didn’t notice me? I decided to try it again the next day. Excuse me shorty can I please get your attention as she walked by paying me no attention. Now my ego has taken a hit still not focusing on the ring because it was something about her if only I could have one conversation.
A wise man once told me that a man ought to chase the woman but the wise man never told me what to do if she doesn’t receive the chasing! Well, let me try one more time. Excuse me Miss lady can I speak with you for a moment as she continued about her day paying me no attention. Okay, everything about my manhood has been bruised. All type of insecurities began to surface. I felt so out of character.
Days had passed and I said why is it that I can’t get her to notice me? What am I doing wrong? What do I need to do? I decided to pay attention to her. Not stalk her but just from a distance taking mental notes. Days and weeks went by while I was putting it all together before I made my next approach. Then the day came and I had enough information to make my next move.
Like any other day she began to walk in my direction. The closer she drew near, the sweatier my palms became. She walked right by me and while I was facing her back I spoke aloud but firm, Phenomenal Woman! She stopped in her tracks. Followed with Virtuous Woman! She turned around. I said to myself, wait, what is she doing? Is she really noticing me? Yes! I continued with pardon my abrasive actions prior to now. My name is John and I couldn’t help but to notice that there is a glow about you that intrigued me. She replied, why thank you sir my name is Samantha please to meet you.
Pay Attention – John saw a woman that made him chase her. He wanted her so bad that he decided to study the woman he desired. Samantha is a woman of charisma and great integrity. She knew John was trying to get her attention all along. However, she was able to bring him up to her standards without saying a word. She understood that if he were the man for her then he would do whatever was needed in order to grab her attention. John began to study on how to approach a woman. He examined himself and made the necessary changes required to get the woman he desired.
The Ring – Samantha made a promise to herself that she would never lower her standards. The beauty about her standards was that they were realistic. It represented her being married to excellence, self-respect, integrity, and humility yet confident in knowing who she is etc. She never put herself under pressure because of her age or society rules.
Married Woman – John fell in love with Samantha because she never looked down on him. From the very beginning she was helping him to become better and win her over. He loved the challenge of changing to become what she needed to feel safe and secure. Samantha fell in love with John because he was willing to die to self in order to lead them as one. He opened her heart by replacing the promise ring with a wedding ring. They both made a vow to always focus on the other more than self. Why, you ask? Because if he’s taking care of all her needs 100% and she’s taking care of his needs 100%, where do they have time to lack or complain about needs not being met? They built a selfless relationship. The married woman that John fell in love with is his wife Samantha.
Do I have to be the other man to get treated like the best man because the last man was the wrong man but she treated him like the husband?
I gave you my vision. I told you everything I’m going to accomplish. This how you still do me? I love you with every fiber in me. All I ever asked you to do was believe in me. Even if you couldn’t see my vision then you should’ve kept your eyes on me and you would have seen the manifestation. Why couldn’t you see that my love for you was pure? I may not have a lot but whatever I had became yours. I put you first, while in your actions put me last and I still loved you. Well, I’m tired now.
Those were the last words he ever said to me and at the time I didn’t mind. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I finally met a man that was able to spoil me in all areas of my life. This man gave me 5 dozen roses a week. He told me I was beautiful as we traveled the seven seas. I had no financial worries and if I thought I wanted it, I was able to get it. Everyone could see that I was glowing and smiling from ear to ear. This man became my husband. He fulfilled every childhood fantasy, so I thought.
As time past I looked up and there he was gracing the cover of a magazine. Turned on the television and there he was being interviewed by one of the most talked about TV shows. I walked into the bookstore only to find several of his books on the shelves labeled as best sellers. I read where the President invited him to the White House while social media could not stop talking about him. This man had become one of the most powerful influential men of our decade. He was the love of my life.
I began to ask myself what happened? How could this be? I’m married to a man that’s not the love of my life?
Then I remembered, while he was begging me to believe in him I gave another man the opportunity to make me smile. See in my moment I couldn’t see him for who he was because I only saw me for what I wanted. However, he gave me everything I ever needed. He couldn’t afford to have 5 dozen roses sent to my home but he single handedly picked out 5 roses from the grocery store and brought them to me every week.
When I was hungry he made sure I ate even if he didn’t eat. He not only told me he loved me but he showed me he loved me by being selfless but I was too selfish to see. My husband was giving me everything I wanted while the love of my life was giving me everything I ever needed.
Now what my husband does for me no longer satisfy me. I always needed the love of my life but my feelings in that moment controlled my decisions. The tough lesson I learned was to not base decisions on how I feel but rather what I know. I knew he was the best man for me but my feelings said you deserve more than what he can give.
All the love of my life wanted was for me to be by his side but I was looking at what was in front of me. Now I don’t want what’s by my side but I want him back who’s in front of me. He was never a bad man to me. Damn, all I had to do was believe, be patient and keep my eyes on him by becoming a part of his vision. But I created a problem that never existed…
Ladies and gentlemen, when you love someone that’s what you do. You love them. Loving another person is taking the focus off of you and placing it on them. If two people would focus on loving their partner 100% then there will never be a lack in the relationship. You will never have time to be selfish because you’re always considering them more than you. In a relationship like this both parties are well satisfied and never have time to look at anything else.
P.S. Never base love on how you feel. Love is a force that is created beyond the feelings. Feelings cannot be trusted. They are never consistent. Any relationship that is built on emotions is doomed before it actually gets started.
How do I tell her that I’m broke? I lost everything I’ve been working so hard to build. I can’t give her financial security because I don’t have anything. Man I feel like a failure. I asked her to believe in me and nothing worked that I asked her to believe in. How is she going to look at me now? I fear losing the very woman I vowed to provide and protect.
Maybe I should just lie until I get back on my feet? I’m a man. I can’t let her see me in this vulnerable place. What if she thinks I’m weak? How do I look her in the face and still remain a man in her sight?
He: baby...baby; I have something to tell you.
He: I don’t know how to say this but remember that investment?
He: well it didn’t go as planned. I can’t get us that house I’ve been promising. Actually I can’t even buy groceries.
She: ok, I have us covered until you get back on your feet.
He: wait huh? What do you mean?
She: that means I believe in you. I believe in us. Don’t worry about your finances just keep your eyes on your vision. Oh and by the way, you are still the man. My man, My King!
At that moment she left me speechless. There wasn’t a word to describe what I felt but I knew I could show it. See this woman’s belief ignited something in me I never knew was there. It gave me courage to become a force to move mountains. I was unbreakable because she never broke my spirit. I was thrown to the wolves but her support gave me survival techniques to lead the pack. I lost every excuse and found a reason to break every curse in my bloodline.
He: baby…baby; I have something to tell you.
He: I don’t know how to say this but remember that investment?
She: no, what investment?
He: the investment of never giving up on me. You committed to us despite my lack there of…
She: awe, that’s just me believing in everything about you regardless of what we have to go through.
He: I know and because of your sacrifice you never have to work for anyone ever again. I actually paid close attention to you and purchased you a building that houses everything you need and more to produce and sale your baked goods.
She: What? How? When?
He: I also had another investment that I was waiting on and as of noon today I became a 50 million dollar man. Thank you for believing in me never making me feel less than a man. When approached by other men that could offer you much more than I could you never left me. When people said why are you still with him? Your reply was I’m happy he’s still with me. You always looked up to me as your leader although you were paying the bills. I could never repay you. One thing for sure, I will never let you go because no man can live without his heart. I thank God he created you to be my hero.
Ladies, all a man can ever ask is for your patience and support. You have the power to make or break a man. This woman loved him through his ugly phases of life. Not one time did she leave him because of his finances and or inadequacies but built him up. Because of her belief and affirmation she sparked him to become the very best man he could be. It was the simple things.
This man will forever honor, cherish and adore this woman. She didn’t look for the grass that appeared to be green on the other side. She watered her grass until it became green. That’s a woman to a man. This is what you call love without conditions or convenience. We live in a society where people don’t fight for their love anymore. Relationships and obtaining true love is not selfish but selfless.
I’ve heard people say that it shouldn’t be this difficult? I have a question. Says who? When you make a comment like that it says you have premeditated a false expectation. No two-love stories are the same. It’s about two people giving their all which is 100%.
If your man is down, ladies stick with him. Men if she gains a little weight love her even more. Become her workout buddy. My point, each person needs one another in a relationship through the good and the bad. It will eventually get better. She became his hero because she believed in the moment he lost all belief even in himself.
P.S. If you're in a violent abusive relationship, get out of it immediately! Call 1-800-799-7233 which is The National Domestic Violence hotline.
I want her so bad. She’s everything I need and desire. The way she makes me feel I cannot describe. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I know for a fact that she’s the answer to my prayers. This woman I’m going to give her the world. “Whatever Lola wants Lola gets.” But Lola never got anything but a heartbreak and disappointment.
It was never about your words it was about your actions. When she said yes, or I do, was her way of saying I trust you to lead me. In that very moment you have her full attention and the course of the relationship is based on how you lead it.
See Lola has this vision of her King ever since she was a child. So when you entered her life is when she immediately started paying close attention to your every detail. Everything you say and do, down to the way you tie your shoes she’s checking her list to see if you are the one.
Let me help you understand this King she’s checking for. Lola is paying attention to see if you’re paying attention. When Lola said I want you to be vulnerable she wasn’t asking you to become an emotional man. What that meant was to be sensitive enough to understand me. Lola knew that she could be emotional but she never expected you to become her twin. While Lola is arguing she’s expecting you not to argue back but to calm the situation as her man.
When a man goes back a forth with his woman it demonstrates a sign of weakness because there’s no display of self-control. In her mind she’s saying no matter what my King is suppose to say and do everything in love. He’s my calm in the midst of the storm.
King here’s where we go wrong. When your words no longer have truth attached to them. She remembered the promises you made before you got her and how you use to treat her in the beginning. She remembers how you asked her to believe and she did only to get the same results of nothing. The many times you said ima change became like the boy that cried wolf.
Lola became hurt because you weren’t paying attention to what her heart was saying that words couldn’t express. While you were still focusing on the exterior she was suffering within. Her concern wasn’t being a trophy because they eventually get put on shelves and accumulate dust. What she wanted to see was can you help remove the dust from her heart so she can be everything you need and more.
There’s a place in Lola that she reserved only for you. A place not even her father could touch and if her father was not present she expected you to help her bring healing to that pain. If there’s instability in Lola then you led her to an unstable ground.
Her King is one of great strength. But that strength wasn’t him being perfect it’s the strength of honesty that she see’s in your heart. The strength that gives her security in knowing no matter what we go through I got you. You don’t have to tell her you’re the man because truthfully that’s all she want you to be but in action. Projecting that you’re the man is a sign of insecurity, weakness and lack of confidence. Which are elements that turns her completely off.
Where we sometimes fail with Lola is thinking it’s about what we do outwardly. Putting that woman first is what you do inwardly.
It comes by stimulating her mind. Paying attention to her every conversation. Making her feel like she’s the only girl in the world. When she looks into your eyes she see truth. Any man can buy her gifts and give her physical pleasures but not every man can help her glow. When she glows it’s because you’re the manifestation of everything she ever prayed, saw and believe.
Lola will give you everything and more without you ever having to ask. She was designed to be everything you need. Stop breaking her heart by reminding her of yesterday. Give her a reason to smile, have hope and great faith. Lead her into a future of fulfillment and not broken promises. Its simple guys, putting her first is by you being a man. The man that leaves no room for excuses gives her every reason to be his results.
P.S A man will understand that last line…
So many people would say I wish I could be you. Your life just seem so easy with many men approaching you. If I look that good I’d never work a day in my life. When I’m around you I feel like a celebrity because of all the attention we get. While these things were being said on the surface, my soul was bleeding underneath.
The concentration of my life has always been the exterior. Having to maintain what people can see at the cost of neglecting what they could not. Behind the makeup I wanted to die!
You want to be me but do you know how many men I slept with because I was searching for the love my father never gave me? While you were playing with dolls, I was being molested and raped. My mother was blind by my beauty that she made me her competition and I wish she had listened. Momma, I need you so bad to be my mother and not my friend. I missed my period fell on deaf ears.
Pretty hurt him not me. He was everything in a man I ever needed and wanted but pretty gave me options. I wanted to marry this man but pretty had me greedy wanting more and more then one day I woke up in the wrong bed. He didn’t love me. I was looking for you while he was beating me. I knew that you would save me but nobody saved you from me. I’m sorry!
Why do you want to cut my face? I don’t even know you. You and all these women came to fight me because your man who I also don’t know likes me? Now I’m forced to live with scars.
My attitude was shaped by my life experiences. Shattered mirrors because of self hate and you want to be me?
Funny thing is I wanted to be me too but for image sake I had to be her. She never liked me and because she got the most attention that’s who I became. The makeup life was everything beautiful but nothing as what it seemed. It created a world of lies, deception, perception, manipulation, and self-mutilation prescribe by a prescription called “Façade at all cost!”
Today I take off the makeup to become me. I will lose some friends and sorry but I might just lose you as well. You liked what you saw but you never saw me. I was living in hurt for many years of my life. I wasn’t able to discover who I was underneath. As bad as I wanted someone to see my heart, I had to first see it and that was the only way healing was going to come about.
Here I stand barefaced accepting the woman I am. I made some mistakes and I hurt some people along the way. I forgive myself and I ask for forgiveness. In addition, I forgive those that caused me deep pain. I am not ashamed and I now know that I’m beautiful just as I am. This is the authentic truth of me.
This was written for all people and ages. You don’t have to hide anymore or be afraid. Everyone have his or her own story and I encourage you to BE FREE! Don’t live in bondage!
If you need help please send me an email @ email@example.com or you can contact me through the website contact page. Thank you for taking the time to read.
Love at first sight is what I would describe my relationship with Daryl Moore. I finally met a guy who didn't have any kids, ready to love, ready to build a family, and ready to commit. We said our vows 2 years after we met. Together forever is what I had in mind.
My husband Daryl was adopted and he lost his adoptive mother in 2004. He never had a relationship with his biological mother or siblings, although it was something that he greatly desired. After the death of his adoptive mother, he felt incredibly alone and unsupported. Daryl felt rejected and he carried this rejection with him throughout the rest of his life.
Daryl feelings of rejection formed a dark part of him that I felt like I could never touch. He kept it locked away from me. I knew that he was hurt, but I didn’t know the magnitude of his hurt. His depression manifested itself in many different ways. At times he would be distant and would participate in self-destructive behavior. I was heartbroken because my love wasn’t enough to soothe his mind or his heart. My husband committed suicide on July 22, 2012.
When my husband died, leaving me alone with our 3 children, I did not know where to turn. I was strong during the day and I fell apart at night. So many questions ran through my head. I blamed myself for his decision; I wondered how I missed the signs. In hindsight, I saw that there were so many signals pointing to the detrimental state of his mental health.
My name is Tazora Dotie-Moore and I am the founder of the Hear My Cry Foundation a 501(c) 3 nonprofit organization. I am a suicide survivor. I understand the emotional feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety. Now, I am dedicating my life to build a foundation to help suicide survivors and people who struggle with mental illness.
If you are battling with the thoughts of ending your life, please know that all is not lost and that there is another way. If you have been touched by suicide in the way that I have, you’re not alone. There are people that know what you’re going through, and that will support you. Together we WILL save lives from suicide.
If you or any one you know are struggling with this deadly illness please contact Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
For more information on Hear "My Cry Foundation" please visit us at www.hearmycryfoundation.org
Is your daddy coming? Yea he’ll be here. Good game son his father said to him. I stood in amazement picturing an invisible father saying those words to me simultaneously being quickly struck by melancholy. The disposition of my reality began to debilitate every fiber of my being. It was a long walk home talking to myself asking where is my dad? Tears falling down my face desperately wanting to hear “I’m proud of you son.”
I lived with that pain from a boy to a man. Having no one to explain life to me I became misunderstood by being misguided. Faltering between opinions, anger built up because I was a grown man still screaming at the top of my lungs, where the hell is my daddy? I need love! You’re suppose to be here to help me through life! Daddy you never protected me. They touched me and I was looking for you to save me.
Wait, I’m a man. There’s no way I should be acting like this. Pull it together and dry your face. But although I dried my face my heart was still wet with tears. Questions filled my mind. How can I dispel being under this fatherless curse by default? It wasn’t my fault.
Victimize by the habitual condition of my thoughts left me in a yesterday situation. I blamed my life on a man that knew nothing of my life. While immersed in pain I had to recognize that it made no sense yet hoping that he gave two cents.
What is becoming of my life? I’m homeless with a 10th grade education. I don’t have any help to accomplish my goals. Wait, I don’t have any goals. Is it possible for me to make it in a society that hates me because of the color of my skin? Can somebody please tell me where do I go from here? See daddy you failed me again!
STOP! Is what I told myself. This is your life and nobody can live it for you. How long will you talk about who wasn’t there? What matters is you being there for you. No one has to help you. Not even the seed you came from.
I blamed years of my life away being a man trapped with the view of a broken boys heart. At that moment the only person to blame was I. God had given me an opportunity to help someone, however, I was caught up in a self-centered depression.
My daddy was never suppose to be there because if it were so then he would have. Nonetheless, I did have a father and it was God. He was teaching me all the while and leading me on this journey. When my eyes were opened that’s when I noticed I had the victory. I had gotten my G.E.D, discovered and worked with some of the biggest talents within the music industry, I graduated from Morehouse College, Pledged Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity Inc, traveled all over the world, broke every male curse in my family and became a licensed minister.
Now I get called on to speak all over the country! If my dad were in my life I wouldn’t be the man I am today and will become. Not sure who I would have been but I am grateful for who I am now. The biggest victory of them all is, “I FORGIVE MY FATHER!” He did his job and that was to get me here. Wherever you are in this life know that I love you sir. It is my job is to do better. Be a victor and not a victim. To help others break and destroy the same yoke that attempted to strangle my destiny.
I encourage anyone out there to let go of the pain. Though it’s not easy it’s worth it for your sake. Let it go! Fatherless but the victory comes in your forgiveness and willingness to discover and achieve your purpose. Your pain is worth the promise...