I want her so bad. She’s everything I need and desire. The way she makes me feel I cannot describe. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I know for a fact that she’s the answer to my prayers. This woman I’m going to give her the world. “Whatever Lola wants Lola gets.” But Lola never got anything but a heartbreak and disappointment.
It was never about your words it was about your actions. When she said yes, or I do, was her way of saying I trust you to lead me. In that very moment you have her full attention and the course of the relationship is based on how you lead it.
See Lola has this vision of her King ever since she was a child. So when you entered her life is when she immediately started paying close attention to your every detail. Everything you say and do, down to the way you tie your shoes she’s checking her list to see if you are the one.
Let me help you understand this King she’s checking for. Lola is paying attention to see if you’re paying attention. When Lola said I want you to be vulnerable she wasn’t asking you to become an emotional man. What that meant was to be sensitive enough to understand me. Lola knew that she could be emotional but she never expected you to become her twin. While Lola is arguing she’s expecting you not to argue back but to calm the situation as her man.
When a man goes back a forth with his woman it demonstrates a sign of weakness because there’s no display of self-control. In her mind she’s saying no matter what my King is suppose to say and do everything in love. He’s my calm in the midst of the storm.
King here’s where we go wrong. When your words no longer have truth attached to them. She remembered the promises you made before you got her and how you use to treat her in the beginning. She remembers how you asked her to believe and she did only to get the same results of nothing. The many times you said ima change became like the boy that cried wolf.
Lola became hurt because you weren’t paying attention to what her heart was saying that words couldn’t express. While you were still focusing on the exterior she was suffering within. Her concern wasn’t being a trophy because they eventually get put on shelves and accumulate dust. What she wanted to see was can you help remove the dust from her heart so she can be everything you need and more.
There’s a place in Lola that she reserved only for you. A place not even her father could touch and if her father was not present she expected you to help her bring healing to that pain. If there’s instability in Lola then you led her to an unstable ground.
Her King is one of great strength. But that strength wasn’t him being perfect it’s the strength of honesty that she see’s in your heart. The strength that gives her security in knowing no matter what we go through I got you. You don’t have to tell her you’re the man because truthfully that’s all she want you to be but in action. Projecting that you’re the man is a sign of insecurity, weakness and lack of confidence. Which are elements that turns her completely off.
Where we sometimes fail with Lola is thinking it’s about what we do outwardly. Putting that woman first is what you do inwardly.
It comes by stimulating her mind. Paying attention to her every conversation. Making her feel like she’s the only girl in the world. When she looks into your eyes she see truth. Any man can buy her gifts and give her physical pleasures but not every man can help her glow. When she glows it’s because you’re the manifestation of everything she ever prayed, saw and believe.
Lola will give you everything and more without you ever having to ask. She was designed to be everything you need. Stop breaking her heart by reminding her of yesterday. Give her a reason to smile, have hope and great faith. Lead her into a future of fulfillment and not broken promises. Its simple guys, putting her first is by you being a man. The man that leaves no room for excuses gives her every reason to be his results.
P.S A man will understand that last line…