When I woke up this morning it didn’t feel like a typical morning. I felt weird but I just shook it off and continued to proceed. I got dressed to head out like any other day but in the back of my mind there was a question that said “do you care if you lived or die?” I brushed that off as well and called a friend of mine to blow some steam.
He laughed and joked and told me everything was going to be alright. Still feeling empty looking for answers, I called another friend but she didn’t pick up. A few minutes later she texted me and said what’s up? I replied, hey I need you. She said, “Brandon you always say you need me that’s nothing knew" as she sends an “LOL” to follow that response. I never replied.
See, I had been facing so many challenges and truly needed someone to talk to. I was holding in this pain for months and needed a release. Life was beating me up to the point that I felt I was bleeding tears but I was trying to press my way through. In private I was a complete failure. Nothing I tried seemed to work. It was as if I was living under a curse that would never leave. I’ve always had big dreams and was working my plan but nothing of what I expected came of them.
I also realized nobody noticed what I was dealing with. I was pleading for help but everyone was so comfortable around me that everything appeared normal. But nothing was normal. In fact, I was living in so much torment privately that there was only one solution left. I decided to take my life. I contemplated long and hard but nothing in my present gave me a reason to live. My life was so dark that I just wanted to close my eyes forever and that’s what I did.
After I took my last breath something happened. It was as if I were floating through air while everything started to move fast into my future. Two hours after I committed suicide, I got the phone call I’ve been waiting for, for nearly a month. I landed a multimillion dollar book publishing deal. A few months after, I was asked to do a documentary chronicling my life and how I was able to break the curse and achieve the unexpected within my bloodline.
Shortly thereafter, I finally became a business and a brand. I was speaking all over the globe. I eventually got married to an amazing woman and we had three equally gorgeous children. My family and I helped so many people yearly and inspired millions. All the pain I experienced could not be compared to the abundant life I’m now living. I mean I have the best life ever. But wait, everything is starting to fade to black. Wait, I’m not ready to die, wait I’m sorry, please I WANT TO LIVE!!! Remember that question in the back of my mind that said “Do you care if you live or die?” Well I care but now it’s too late…
P.S. DON’T GIVE UP!!! Please, we must pay attention to those that are in our everyday lives. So many are screaming for help but we overlook the signs. This message is for those that feel like there’s no hope. Please understand that YOUR LIFE MATTERS! When you take your life you stop your promising future and you hurt those that are connected to you while stopping the future of some that were to live because you live.
If you are a person that needs help please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1 (800) 273-8255